wet nursing among other things

i can not belive that my baby sadie is almost a month old already its not fair! i dont  want  to go back to work. well other then that everthing is going great sadie dose great at night for a 3 week old and only gets up 2 times a night and 4 times on a bad night. i cant beilve how big she is and she eats like its going outta style. i produce a ton of milk and have had to pump to prevent geting mastitice because she never gets the girls compleatly empty and i want to keep my supply up too and its even more important to me now. ive been praying for a way that i can help someone else and yesterday my nana called me and told me there is a family in her ward that has a baby in primary childrens who cant eat formula or cows milk and the mother cant nurse. they need help geting breast milk and my nana thought of me. now i had not told anyone in my family that i had been wanting to maybe donate my milk i had looked into it online but there was alot of tests i would have to do. honestly i was willing to do those tests to help someone but helping this family while it is easier by far its closer to home and selfishly i can see the results of helpping this family insted of just sending it to california to be pasturized

our birth story.

i never made it to tuesday. Saturday morning felt just like any other morning tired and not wanting to go to work my husband had sprayed the house for bugs and the smell was killing me so i got ready for work and went and sat on the grass until it was time for him to drop me off. my father in law came out and we started to talk about my induction and what i hoped it would be like then he left and i started towards the basement stairs. at the top, just as i was about to descend i felt a big gush like i had just lost control of my bladder. i just stood there in shock what the heck just happened?! meanwhile my husband was coming up the same stairs and saw me just standing there he asked me if i was okay and i said i think i just peed my pants! so i walked down to our apartment and changed no sooner had i put my pants on i felt another gush of fluid i started to change for a third time i put on shorts it happened again. i then turned to my husband and said i think its my water, its time to go to the hospital. i had left my phone in my locker at work the day before (stupid me!) so i couldn't call and tell work i wasn't coming in it was 11:50 i was due at work at noon oops! anyway we grabbed the hospital bags and went upstairs to tell the in laws where we were going and borrowed a towel (i forgot to grab one when i was down stairs) while hubby put his shoes on. i was just standing in their kitchen with fluid leaking down into my shoes feeling so very embarrassed finally we were in the truck on the way to the hospital it was a short ride not any time to think at all about what was going to happen,five minutes later we were in the lobby of the hospital the whole back side of my shorts were soaked and i felt like a grade school er who had peed her pants and had to walk to the office to call her mom lol. we got to labor and delivery and i said i thought my water had broken they quickly admitted me. we got settled in the room and and found out that my Dr was still out of town though on his way home soon. i was a bit worried id go to fast and he would miss it but at the time i wasn't having any contractions nor was i dilated anymore then i had been at my last appointment. they wanted to start pitocin after 2 hours finally i stared feeling them a little before my mom got there they hardly hurt. the first nurse i had told me i had to labor laying down because of the med they were giving me but that hurt i wanted to sit but she said no she grumbled when i said i had to use the bathroom i really didn't like her i told her my birth plan and she didn't follow it at all my next nurse was amazing the first nurse hadn't told the the Dr that my fluid was green Sadie had gone potty already but my first nurse when i told her just said "OK" and went on with what ever she was doing when Michell came in she explained what it was and what the Dr said about it . when i told her i didn't want an epidural she helped me and my birth coaches do techniques to lessen the pain ( sitting, standing, the birth ball etc.) with her help i was able to go 10 hours with almost no pain medication at all we tried a dose of morphine but it turns out that i am allergic to it! at ten pm after my Dr had gotten there nothing was helping contractions any more i was having them right on top of each other with no breaks in between because of the pitocin so my Dr came in and advised me that it would be best to have an epidural but it was still up to me then he said because at this point i had progressed at all that there may be a c section that need to happen and that i need to be aware that it might happen but at this point we could wait or just do it then. I opted for the epidural and waiting. a few hours later my brother and father in law came and gave me a wonderful blessing. i was instantly calmed and was assured that everything was going to work out and that baby would be okay and that it didn't matter to me anymore how she came. the nurse checked me at 2 am and said i had gone to a four finally! i felt happy she told me to take a nap i tried but about an hour later i was feeling pressure i called the nurse she said she would check me in 20 min after the epidural had warn down a bit so when she did she said your a 10!! lets start pushing. my mom and husband held my legs and helped me through it was hard and painful i was only half numb so i felt her head and shoulders be delivered which is what really wanted it hurt but it was worth it. i did tear a little but again it was worth it. our little peach was born on Sunday august 21st at 5:43am she was 7lb 2oz and only 18.5 inches shes so little! she is an awesome baby and very good at letting us sleep she had a heart murmur at birth and a left arm weakness but the Dr is not concerned so i wont be until he is. she also failed her hearing test on the right side then nurses redid it 3 times for me but it always came back a fail im trying not to worry bout it they say lots of babies fail at first then nothing is wrong but its really hard for me not to since it was my biggest worry my whole pregnancy. all in all its been the best experience of our life. we love  her to death and Eli is so precious with her i cant wait for more adventures with our Sadie Ruth!!!! love you all and we will keep you all posted!!!!
here are some pictures!!!

3days to go!

and 2 days about left of work! im so happy but so tired lol i know that this is just the beginning. at least when shes here it will seem much more worth it to be tired all the time. can not wait for miss Sadie ruth adams!!!

Eviction date set for august 23rd 2011!! XD

yesterday i went to the doctor again and found out that i have made pretty much no progress in the Sadie getting here campaign still at a 2 oh well im fine with that now because i found out that next tuesday i will be induced!!! the doc said he dose not like fist time moms to go over their due date because he doesn't like babies to get to big so im being induced 2 days before my actual due date and im praying that she doesn't come before that my Dr is going out of town for two days this week and i would rather nobody else deliver her. plus i love the idea of just going in and all calm and getting set up it all having been planed now i know that this is not realistic and you can plan for when a baby comes but just the thought is very comforting to me and has really helped me relax so nobody jinx me please and every body pray that we make it to tuesday. i cant see how things will change i went from having tons of contractions to virtually none at first this made me mad but now that im getting an induction im very grateful. i know its kinda bad but i kinda hoped i would be induced even though i know it will be harder to go with out a epidural because pitocin makes your contractions pretty bad but im so very excited to meet our little girl ive been dreaming about this day for along time and now its so close. i still dont feel scared or anything which i find kinda weird but maybe its because i know exactly whats going to happen and that the Dr will know whats going on even if i dont. this is just going to be a happy thing no matter what and im going to maintain this attitude whether i get my unmediated birth, an epidural or, heaven forbid a c section. any way my daughter needs to get here is fine with me i just want her here and healthy! im so happy guys and i cant wait to start my adventure as a mother i know it will be bumpy and hard but i think its worth it.

still a'cookin!

well no baby yet.
its getting a bit aggravating last Monday i thought it was it i was at my moms and i started having contractions 3 minutes apart for an hour i finally decided it was time to go to the hospital so we called the hubby up and told him to grab the bag and meet us over there. i get over there and get all hooked up to the monitors and i really am having contractions some of them so bad i dry heave. they check me and say im at a one! i say uh no my Dr said im at a 2 and have been for 3 weeks and the nurse retorts well your Dr measures big. uh OK??? no but what ever your a nurse so obviously you don't know much. any way my contractions stay steady and only space out to like a four although i was counting them at 2 because i was feeling them more in my back and the nurse told me that if that was the case then the monitor they were using wouldn't pick them up as good...... great! i was really sorta rude to the nurses at this point they really had ticked me off. then the icing on the cake...... she checks me again after an hour and she pushes so hard up there that she makes my spine ache my Dr has never hurt me at all when he checks and then she says that ive made no progress so they are sending me home i was really mad. then she gave me percet i hate that stuff it makes me not able to sleep and on top of that i was still getting contractions 3 min apart and had that until wednesday.
on tuesday i saw my Dr and he did a membrane sweep to help move things along but still no success yet i see him again this tuesday i may ask for another sweep or maybe he will tell me that we are ready to go and to head over hahaha not likely but hey  a girl can hope right!?!

Tick tick tick..........boom? is she ever coming soon???!?

So the week is pretty much over and no baby yet. im trying to not let it bother me but im so ready for her just to be here already. her room is done and mamas done being in constant pain all the time and i just want to hold my daughter. I've told her that its okay for her to come out now she obviously isn't budging. i have contractions all the time they start out close together but then they move apart its driving me CRAZY! im tempted to ask my Dr to sweep my membranes next appointment but i don't know if he will since i will just be almost 38 weeks i want things to get moving I'd like her to come while my uncle is out they are never here so I'd like them to be able to see her. also her godmother is in town until wednesday and i would love it if she could be there too! im sick of people asking me why im still at work and that they thought she would be here by now. you guys are so not helping!!! i don't want to be at work and you know i want her here more then you do so stop talking about it!!!
my husband is just so laid back about it. drives me nuts he says she will get here when shes ready. ive tried to be patient like him but he also doesn't have to carry this big old belly and have lots of  pain. i feel like a walking time bomb every little pain im like is this it? no! is this it?? NO! dang it im so on edge and that's probably not helping anything. i want it to be tuesday so my Dr can check me and say oh hey Sarah your a 5 and 100% effaced head to the hospital I'll meet you over there! wouldn't that be grand!!alas it probably wont happen like that but a girl can dream cant she lol.
i really kinda hope shes on the smaller side i was 5lb 13 oz when i was born maybe she will be similar i just think it would be better for me if i didn't deliver a 9lb baby im really not that big so i doubt i have room in my belly for a 9 pound er ha ha.
today i had a really hard day i haven't been able to stay awake hardly i even fell asleep at work! i woke up at 7:30 this morning and went right back out at 10 thank goodness my husband was home or i would have just slept all day he woke me at 11:30 and i fell asleep in the truck on the way to work (which is only at the most a 5 min drive pathetic i know) then one at work i fell asleep 3 times and then again at the work party. when i got home from work i slept another 2 hours until i woke up with really bad stomach and back pain and sad to say i will probably be going back to bed around 10 and sleep through the night. doses this mean something? is this the calm before the storm? or am i just turning in to a narcoleptic lol i think Sadie's been asleep most of  the day too if any one knows if this is normal or not please let me know. im tired of feeling like my volcano belly is going to mount vesuvius any moment!!!!!!

No birthday party today.

i had my second weekly Dr. appointment today. no baby to speak of yet but we are getting there!! im still only a 2 but now i have thinned out to 80% vs. the 40% i was last week. im also -1 station i was +2 last week so we are making headway i was really hopping that we would get to have her today but no such luck. here is something cool though my Dr has a new intern in his office her name is thedrea she might be helping deliver miss Sadie. she got to check my cervix it was kinda a neat experience that i got to help someone learn and she seems really nice. so ive been having tingling in my finger tips and its gotten pretty annoying and sad to say its not going away i have pregnancy induced carpal tunnel (SP?) extra fluid in my hand joints can you say lame!!!! it makes me shake i hate that but i think i can live with it for another week. im so ready for my daughter to be here!!

update!

so i just got back from my appointment and we found out that we are mesuring ahead of schedual ! right now im 34 weeks but mesuring at 36 im also at 2 cm and 40% effaced and at +2 station! making progress! ast one i was only 1cm. i also tested positive for group b strep but thats no big deal i just get to have iv antibiotics durring labor. im getting way more excited about this and i really cant wait till she gets here anybody wanna take a guess lol!

those old familar feelings :(

so through out my pregnancy i have felt great well emotionally anyway that is until the last week. i cant seem to fight this blue feeling and my panic attacks have come back and i have a desperate need to scratch i have thus far manged not to scratch yet but its getting harder and harder not too when i get stressed out or angry or sad i just want to dig may nails into my arm and scratch until that feeling goes away. i know this sounds horrible it is. i know there has to be a better way to deal with this but as to what that better way is i haven't a clue ive tried other things somethings are less extreme other more  but scratching seems to be the ticket. i feel like the only one im hurting is me which im fine with i probably look really really dumb but i never do it in front of people if i can help it. i really would like to not start this up again its been almost a year since i have but i feel so out of control and i feel like i need to and i don't know what i should do about this feeling.maybe i should give in at least till after Sadie is here when i have panic attacks or get to upset it stresses her out i cant explain how but it dose. i know i should probably talk to my Dr but im just afraid that hes gonna tell me im stupid like everyone else dose. i don't normally talk about it because i get the response of oh your just faking it or just don't let it get to you or my favorite or you know its all in your head right? i wish it was as simple as that people! its not do you know how many times im having one and i say this is stupid and its all in my head and to stop? haha you cant imagine how it feels. its not something you can tell your self to stop doing and you cant control it in anyway and half the time there isn't even a trigger it literally just happens. some times even scratching wont calm me down. this is not fun and i definitely don't do it for attention if anything i try to get away from people  when i have them. to add to all this my tiny appetite is pretty much gone im never hungry and cant hardly seem to force myself to eat. im sick all the time because i cant eat and no telling me to eat isn't gonna make me eat i have struggled with this for YEARS and stress makes it worse. i know its not good for me to do that being pregnant I KNOW OKAY? i just cant seem to be able to do it im lucky if i can eat once a day when im not pregnant and since i am i have literally forced myself to and some how i still have managed to gain 40 lbs. i don't know what to do to fix these things it sure feels easier to just give into them. maybe i should but i know that that isn't how we deal things i just wish i had gotten rid of these things for good or at least know how to rid myself of them now but i don't :(

my first cm!

so i went to the Dr today and he did my strep b test and checked to see if i have dilated any and guess what! i have im now one cm which is cool. i also got the okay to go camping next weekend super excited. im getting more excited for her to get here even though her room isn't even started yet as in we don't even have a crib up that's a stress but it cant be helped im trying to just ignore it i wish we had more room in our shed to put stuff but sadly there isn't an inch of space to spare in there *sigh* oh well i really am just trying to not think about it because its really out of my hands at this point im huge and heavy not to mention clumsy and forgetful. i think that if the crib was at least set up i would feel okay but its not possible with the state of the house. its so cluttered with all the stuff from the living room and baby stuff we are both going crazy id kill for some organization alas it cant be done till the wall is completely finished. praying that's soon. anyway i had a baby shower and it was awesome and i got so much and im so very greatful Sadie is gonna be well dressed! i cant wait to see her in everything we got and the lovely blankets and other things we got are just so great!
this pregnancy has had its ups and downs but i feel like its made me a better person and i am so thankful for all the new experiences and can not wait for what motherhood brings

im back!

its been along time since i posted and not much has happened besides alot of debilitating hip pain and contractions on a regular basis now lol. i have been with out Internet for  awhile so i feel like i fell off the face of the planet.but it was nice too getting to spend time with the hubby with out the computer distraction. i hung out today with my best friend McKenzie today she totally surprised me she lives in Colorado and so i rarely get to see her she came down on a whim and brought me a lot of cute clothes for Sadie and took me to lunch and basically spent the whole day with me. it was much need girl time i missed her so much and it really made my day that she came down to see me i was begging to think that my friends had forgotten about me im sooo glad this is not the case. anyway im thirty weeks nearly thirty one weeks and my first baby shower is this Saturday im so excited to see all my friends i hope that they can make it i really don't know if people will come ( i have a tendency to think that no one will) but i have two great ladies planing it my SIL and my friend Amanda and it should be a blast. im hoping that i wont be too tired to enjoy it as i have to work before hand and i get super tired after work. but after this one i have 2 more showers on July 9Th and 29Th both of those are family ones and i just cant wait to show off my belly!

I'M SORRY!

im sorry for everything that i have ever done to anyone or will ever do. i don't intentionally try  hurt peoples feelings i try to do the exact opposite in fact and i cant win so in advance i will say im so so sorry!

yard work

today we went to my parents house and helped my mom prepare the back yard for grass. my husband was a huge help he pulled out the bush by my sisters window and pulled out a few tree roots that were in the way then he got half of the weeds mowed down before it ran out of oil . what was i doing during all of this? babysitting my little brother he was so tired that he would hardly let me put him down usually it doesn't do anything for me to hold him but the ground is uneven and i was walking around. then i had to go to work and that was fun they thought it was my birthday i was so confused i told them it wasn't but they still wanted to celebrate late ha ha, so all of that equals to one sore Sarah! and i didn't even do any hard work. oh the joys of pregnancy!!

yet another scare on the baby front

so last night i had to go to the hospital again. i had started having mild pains at work and just thought nothing of them because... well pain happens  when your pregnant. i started to worry when the pain got worse and was there constantly i was getting bad pain and my belly was going hard like every five minutes so my mom took me to labor and delivery to see what was wrong they hooked me up to a non stress test and the nurse said that the "contractions" ( for lack of a better word) were barely making a blip on the screen. she asked me to rate my pain i said a 6 or a 7 not like bad enough that i couldn't handle it but too much pain to relax or do anything with like work so she called my Dr and he said to give me a shot to stop the contractions and some percocets she said that it might have been an irritated uterus what ever the heck that is. but i don't like those meds. i had two shots and i had major shakes for like 5 hours like i could barely hold anything i wasn't cold i just couldn't stop and the percs just kept me up till 2:30 am instead of knocking me out like she said they would. at least the pain went away and hasn't came back yet *knock on wood* all in all im so grateful that i have such a wonderful family that loves me and worries about me. and im so thankful for my wonderful husband who came to the hospital and held my hand while i got the shots and the exam to make sure i was still closed (which i was thank goodness!)
he is the best i love him so very very much!

26 weeks (and counting :))

wow this seemed so far away but now its here only a few more weeks to go before our baby is here. its been very crazy. i look like im smuggling a soccer ball under everything i wear( i must remember to take more pictures lol) and while ive still got some issues with the rapid changes happening to my body ive really started to embrace it. its all going to be worth it when our little girl comes. this truly has been a learning experience and i have learned who will really be there for me. sadly its not as many people as i had hoped but of course that's part of growing up. i am so thankful for the support i have. im grateful for my job and the people i work with they are just so good to me. i find that instead of becoming more apprehensive about all the things to come i am embracing it and facing it with little fear. here's hoping for a smooth finish love you all!

vent!

i know i try not to do this because i know that people find it annoying but im hurt and frustrated and i just need to get it out. i know that being pregnant im probably throwing things out of proportion and possible being a little immature  about the way i feel.
im hurt that not one of my friends have offered to throw me a baby shower. i know that i probably shouldn't be upset by this but i am it makes me feel like they really don't care about me or aren't excited for me at all i try to tell my self its not true but don't actions speak louder than words? i would jump at the chance to give any of these ladies a baby shower. i feel bad that i didn't have the finances to offer to throw one for my SIL and i will be doing on for my best friend Amanda. i just want to have a get together with my friends and celebrate this baby and catch up. i know that the family will throw me one but i really find it hard to ask them to add another 28 people on to the guest list when its already 40+ with just family. my sister in law said she would do it but she really doesn't have the money to and i feel really bad that she would be the one doing it i don't want to put her in a financial bind. im irritated i probably have no right to be. according to baby shower etiquette, the moms and or me are not suppose to be throwing the showers so if we were going off of that i wouldn't get one. im really not sure why it bugs me so bad i used to not care if my friends were there for me or not it makes no sense to me that it hurts now and its not just the shower thing i hardly talk to anyone now or i feel like when i do talk to a friend they're not really listening and that just makes me feel like im burdening them by making them talk to me. i get that our lives are changing and we are all doing different things college, getting married, even have kids of our own. so i know that some of them cant really understand what im going through and i don't expect them to. i just need support a text here or there a phone call, a visit. heck if you wanted to send me a letter I'd take it lol.
im not posting this for sympathy or to guilt trip anybody into throwing me a shower i just need to get this off my chest and writing it helps it not bother me as much i can write it and let go.i hope i don't hurt anyone's feelings by writing this. i needed to get my frustrations out so i don't implode from not being able to talk about it to anyone. i cant talk to my husband about it because he says its silly to depend on friends and want to hang out with them. and sometimes i agree maybe this is one of those times anyways i  cant talk to him about how im feeling so i vent to my blog about it because i don't want to hurt anyone by talking to them about it. i feel like if i vented to any one friend they would feel like i was pressuring them into it and that's not what i want. im really hurt right now more then likely unjustly so but none the less i am.

passed the test!

yay i passed my glucose test! my last score was 124 only about 4 points over normal so everything should be okay. it really wasn't a fun experience. i had to drink a whole bottle of lemon lime drink which was gross i hate flat soda. then i had to get my finger pricked 4 times its still very sore i also had to get a urinalysis done because i told my Dr that i had so cramping the night before so he wanted to check luckily that came back as nothing. then after all that stuff was done my mom, my aunt Maggie and i went to target to register for my little girl that was so much fun there is so much to choose and the stuff there is super cute!! i cant wait for July to get here so we can have baby showers!

first mothers day!

today was my first mothers day. on our way out to go to church my hubby showed me they flower planter type box he bought me its really pretty then after sacrament meeting all the young men/ women hand out CD to all the moms ( every women over 18)  its church music but it has alot of my favorite songs hubby was hoping there was chocolate involved so he could steal it lol now im just relaxing its been a pretty nice day!

oh how complicated!

so i went to the doctor on Monday for my OB appointment  and when my Dr came in he said that my blood type is A- and that i  would need to get a  RhoGAM shot. i asked him what a RhoGAM shot is and he said its a shot to stop you from forming harmful anti bodies because your Rh negative. he gave me a book that had some info on it. and from what i read. being Rh negative is sorta rare only 15 percent of the population is Rh- and what that means is that i don't have the Rh protein on my red blood cells it doesn't effect anything except pregnancy if you partner is Rh positive. if you or both positive or both negative the baby will be fine but if you differ from each other then you have to get a shot because its possible that the baby and your blood aren't compatible and your cells will attack it and causes anemia, bleeding on the brain or even death. thankfully those complications are rare because of the shot and even more rare because this is my first pregnancy and the baby and my blood have not had a chance to mix yet. but in my other pregnancies i will have to get the shot at 12 weeks because there will be antibodies left over from the first one and they cant do harm it gets more dangerous with each one. well enough about that. yesterday i had to take the 1 hour glucose test and i FAILED! my blood sugar was 148 my Dr said that's a bit too high for his liking. so now i have to do the three hour test no thanks! im going to have my finger pricked three more times. i bruise so easily that i can barely use the finger that they poked yesterday. i cant even imagine having to give my self shots i hate needles and i hate that they bruise me so bad. well here's hoping that everything will be okay!

Red Riding Hood!

my husband took me to see this movie tonight and i must say its awesome! i know we are probably behind in the times but we wait for the movies to come to the 3 dollar theater its cheaper and we like that especially with our little baby on the way we need to save as much as possible. but anyway i was a little afraid of seeing it i wanted to watch it but im really sensitive to horror (it makes me puke my guts up not a fun thing to do when your trying to watch something) but i decided i simply must go see it regardless. lucky for me is isn't horror. suspense definitely it was very twisty ( i hope you know what i mean) i was guessing till the last minute who the wolf was and i was totally blown away. i would not suggest you see this movie at a theater if you have issues like with dizziness i nearly threw up at the opening because the scream moves alot i mean alot its very twisty and such even made the hubby a bit nauseous lol.any way it was a great movie and we cant wait for it to come to DVD so we can buy it i think Gracie liked it too she kicked me hard for 10 min i could actually see my belly moving its really crazy.also while im here i have to say that im surprised i having gained tons of weight yet i think im like only up 15lbs from my pre pregnancy weight and ive only gained 2lbs this whole month! i was 166 at the beginning of the month now at the end im 168. the best part is im eating what i want as much as i want. although im eating healthy now i know that i will need to eat heather once the baby comes so i can loose more weight then what i came in to this with im gonna shoot for 115 to 120 which is a much healthier weight then my pre pregnancy which was i thing 155 or something like that.im exercising and im walking around and working all day so im pretty active which it think has help alot i feel like im all baby and i certainly look it (except my hips and thighs but just don't look there lol) i feel like i finally don't look "just fat" and that makes me happy. im hoping that my belly button will pop it looks like it might any day now that will be awesome! well im super sore and tired so i gotta head to bed!

On turning twenty two and growing Gracie.

So today i turned twenty two. do i feel different no. do i feel older?  maybe a little but i think that's only because im about to become a mom and not because i turned a number. my birthday was okay we ran errands mostly then i went to work its okay its a Thursday and we both have to work. honestly im more excited that today im 23 weeks pregnant then the fact that im 22 this is the last week of my fifth month and every day i can feel Gracie moving around more and more it makes me happy when i start to feel a little blue to feel her wriggling around in there. shes now about a pound and growing fast. i get upset sometimes that my husband isn't interested in how our daughter is growing week by week and i just have to remember that hes a guy and its okay for him to not care about the little things like that. he loves her and he rubs and kisses my belly all the time so im not worried id just like to talk about this stuff with him and not get him saying im not really interested. oh well any way also tomorrow we are going to celebrate my birthday with dinner and a movie its gonna be so fun!

fearless about birth

so i kinda find it odd that im not scared to have my baby. like not at all isn't that strange? i know alot of ladies i talk to who are pregnant with me that just are super scared but i don't understand why. maybe im the weird one but i know that everything will be fine a hospital is a very controlled by the book place, my doctor is extremely competent and knows how to easy my fears even when something worrisome is happening. there is one thing i am afraid of concerning labour and that is the epidural strange right? those things can mess you up! if they place it wrong it could kill you or permanently damage you, not to mention if you have allergies to certain kinds of anastasia you could have a bad reaction. i really want to have as natural a birth as i can handle which for me means i'd rather not have the epidural. the hubby doesn't necessarily like this idea he thinks that i should get one so that i can just relax but i feel like i could do it if i i try i want to at least try. have a pretty good tolerance for pain and im pretty sure that i can have this baby with out a Cesarean so i don't see why it would be medically necessary for me to get an epidural unless i cant take the pain. women had children for thousands of year with little to no pain relief why couldn't i be strong enough to do the same at least for a little while.things are so freely handed to us these days i don't know i just want to work a little for my little girl. im not trying to say that if you get an epidural your cheating or are wussing out because who knows i may get to the hospital and practically scream for one lol hopefully not. im just saying that to me feeling the pain of child birth seems like the thing to do. i can hardly wait for august to get here some days it feels really close and others if feels like its years away. i want my little Gracie here already. that's my hardest thing waiting. in other news i went to the optometrist today and i asked him is it true that when you are pregnant your eyes change? he told me that its very rare actually and so getting your prescription renewed while pregnant is okay. ive had people tell me that i should wait to do it but i just couldn't i have started getting headaches. he said that my eyes have changed ( not caused by the baby but by the fact that it has been almost 4 years since i got my prescription) my near sightedness its a little worse but my astigmatism is gone which is good i don't remember him telling me i had one but it was 4 years ago lol. so i get new glasses! medicaid only pays for certain ones so my new frames even though they are cute they  are also  purple normally i hate purple but they are like lavender so its a little better. anyway this is along post so i better stop i know it takes a while to read when i write this much lol good night

Easter eve &my cousins wedding

today was a great day though very busy. we got up and got ready to go the Easter egg hunt at grandma and grandpa pulhams when baby decides to keep you up till 3 in the am its hard to get going. once we were there we started looking for eggs in the pasture its really hilly and overall lumpy my hip began to hurt the rest of my body followed shortly so i had to keep sitting down. lucky for me my husband helped fined my eggs we each got six except my poor hubby because somebody stepped on his. then we ate baby and daddy's favorite food HOT DOGS! yep that's right our little girl loves hot dogs lol like father like daughter ha ha. any way then we announced the we were in fact having a girl. after we had eaten and talked as long as we could we headed home to go do some shopping.i had to go get wic and we also had to get stuff from costco amazing store that is lots and lots of stuff too look at. then i cane home and got ready to go to my cousin Jessica's wedding. my husband helped me tie a ribbon around my waist and when i turned around he said holy crap your PREGNANT! i laughed.  he wasn't feeling too hot so he stayed home and i left for my cousins wedding it was absolutely gorgeous her colors were like a bright pink and sage green perfect for spring. her dress just beautiful her and her new husband are so cute together. the decor very pretty. it was at the Alpine art center such a pretty place inside and out. the food was great and the dancing was loads of  fun i kinda wish my husband had been there to dance with me but it was alright. then when they were getting ready to leave there was a Cinderella coach waiting for them it was so pretty. not really something for me since im absolutely terrified of horses im not sure why but i am. but was beautiful. and to top the day off i lost my voice this will be fun at the baby blessing tomorrow lol!

braxton hicks

wow i just had my first braxton hicks contraction a few minutes ago. it was the weirdest, coolest feeling. my belly got really hard and i got cramps it lasted about a minute then it was gone i didn't think i would be feeling them this soon it made my day. being sick is no fun but this made it better contractions may not sound like fun but just knowing that our little girl is getting bigger is just so great. i can feel her so much better  she actually kicked my hand off it was cute. i cant wait for her to get here i really wish we knew what her name is lol any help is appreciated love ya guys!

cold!

really body really? we haven't been sick in like 5 years and 5 months into this pregnancy i get a cold man this sucks i thought your immune system was suppose to get stronger not weaker im so irritated by my sore throat achy body and not being able to breath through my nose. worst part i cant take any cold med because im pregnant gurr! so i have to live with this and i cant just stay home and rest i have work today bah not much i can do i have to go but its just gonna suck. hopefully i don't have to mark im super dizzy and i don't want to fall down. dose any one have any ideas to help me get through this?

Baby Adams gender party (4/17/2011)

Our gender party was a great success! all my family showed up we did the voting Bord
my sister had to vote team purple lol. i know the dots probably don't look it but they are suppose to be bees
the theme was what will it bee. so almost everything was bees.

we also did a candy count and a name suggestion we had everyone write a boy and girl name to help us in our quest for a name for our little girl it was really fun though someone got a little crazy with the names (no Lara we will not be naming her squid ward lol)

there are a few candidates though.

this is me concentrating on putting the letters on the reveal cake. my hand

hurt so bad after but then we have this beautiful piece of art

my mom did the flying bees i think it turned out way cute! it was so hard to wait through dinner and games just to let everyone know but i was good.

while we waited for every one to finish up dinner my sister and i went out side to take some pictures unfortunately this is the only one that turned out but its really really cute i look ginormous there really is no room for her to go but out i promise there is only one in there he he.

my mom made this cute clothes line i loved it  this was part of the decor such a fun thing.

my little brother dressed as a bumble hes a cutie!

 finally the big cake reveal! my Nana cut the cake to see......

PINK! its a girl every one was so excited

here are some cake eating pictures of gunny and drew!

my Nana brought me a gift in case her guess was right

an its a GIRL shirt. im wearing it right now i love it it was an uber great day  hope you enjoyed the pictures i still gotta talk to my dad about more pictures. hope you are all happy and healthy love you all!

we are on team......

okay guys this isn't a teaser like the last one we are officially on team PINK! we are having a little GIRL! had a blast at the party glad that my family could be there to celebrate with us it meant alot to me. well i will be writing all about the party tomorrow when my sister and dad send me all the pictures they took (our camera was dead lucky for us their are to photographers in the fam lol) be prepared i think tomorrows gonna be a long post gonna have lots of pictures and such to look at. it was a really happy fun day now i cant wait for our little princess to get here!
OH while i wait on those here are the ultra sound pictures i for got to post a few days ago

 face

 profile

 fingers

 toes

 another profile

 profile/ heart pic

 spine

spine

PARTY TIME! (tomorrow that is hehe)

Im so excited for tomorrow! our gender party is going to me so much fun im happy that i get to see all my family and friends who will be able to make it. if not we will miss you and i will be posting how the party was and what we are having hopefuly i will get some pictures to put up
last day also to vote for your team PINK or BLUE you choose!!
love ya

Day 04 - A picture of your night

hmmm i don't think i have a picture that represents that  sorry. we had a date last night super fun! and baby had its first hot dog and liked it i was worried about that because while i was eating it i started to get a bit sick but it stayed down. then we came home and watched mash and went to bed

It's a......!

i cant tell you what it is yet but we know what it is and even though i was terrified about my ultra sound one i got it done i felt much better i did cry though it was awesome to see that our baby is healthy and wiggly it makes me so happy its growing great. as to what it is all i can say is we know for sure what it is!! now i cant wait for 10 tomorrow

anatomy scan!

At exactly this moment  tomorrow  morning (9:10 am) we will be at the Dr.s see our little baby for the first time im so excited and yet im a bit nervous. what if something is wrong? what if im disappointed ? what if there isn't a baby in there at all? i know i know silly questions. nothings going to be wrong, your not gonna be disappointed, and YES Sarah there is a baby in there. but i still cant help it maybe its the fact that i will have visual proof and then i really cant pretend its not happening and that we really are going to have a baby. not that i don't love him or her im just starting to get a little nervous and scared i know there is no reason and that i know what im doing for the most part but there is a part of me going what the heck were you thinking! though i admit its only a small part but its nagging at me.i feel like im going to be a bad person if i feel a little disappointed if its not a girl not  because i think I'll love it less if its a boy but because ive always wanted a little girl. i know that if its a boy it doesn't mean im never going to get a girl. and if it is a boy and i am slightly disappointed i will never admit it!!!!!! never! i will love my baby no matter what and i say this because i have a feeling that there would be some one who would hold it against me or tell  me that im stupid for think like this. if that's you please don't comment (just saying ) i feel bad just think that i might feel this way i don't need anyone rubbing it in my face. im terrified something is going to be wrong with it not necessarily something we can see or detect until its born. like being deaf that has to be my top worry because my hearing loss is genetic i really don't want to pass that on it was difficult for me as a kid it still is but i make the best of it. i would just rather our baby didn't have to go through all the crap i did. i had a hard time fighting for my rights and getting what i needed to be successful in school and otherwise. idk if i could go through that from the other side. well at least i will have 2 questions answered tomorrow hope all goes well.

I love my blog!

when i started this thing i never thought that it would be this fun. i thought it would be hard to remember to post things or have anything to post at all! now i have a hard time not posting twice in one day i enjoy it so much its like having a public journal which is cool and you can customize it to look like you want it to i spent 4 hours total revamping my blog yesterday me! computer illiterate me! now look how cute it is. i found a video to make a header because that was bugging me that my blog didn't have one it look so bare and generic now its me! so if you need help im here! its really not that hard once you know how to do it i used picknic to make mine well okay i got the background from shabby blogs but i did the writing on it! big accomplishment that used to be over my head by a mile. i hope you guys are having as much reading as i am posting im probably not the most exciting person to read about but its nice to know that their are those who read it! i have more followers then i thought possible i though maybe id get a couple but 11 is just great! it be cool to have more but im grateful for all of you!

day 3 of 30

A picture of the cast from your favorite show

I'd have to say because i don't watch alot of TV the one show i do enjoy watching is bones i don't set my watch to see it but if it comes on while im flipping through channels i will watch it!

yay for pain relief and chines!

today was a long cold wet day. but it was a good one after work at least lol. my parents picked me up from work and we went all over tar-nation looking for the belly support kid to kid didn't have the right one and target didn't have one at all so we had to brake down and drive all the way to orem to babies r us and get one there which surprisingly enough was the cheapest option! 30 bucks everywhere else for a new one was 45-60 bucks ridiculous right?! but i had to get one the pain just get too bad so it was buy one or quit working and endure the pain. so here's to no pain! also we went and satisfied a craving of chines food for dinner it was sooo good. just a little over 2 days until our ultrasound and we hopefully can find out what it is. we decided that we will know for a full day before any one else then tell just the parents and Sib's on tuesday we have a special surprise planed shhh! i cant wait. then the Sunday after we find out, the 17Th we are having a gender reveal party to let my side know what we are having we are gonna have them dress up in pink or blue vote on whether its a boy or girl and have a name suggestion box and maybe have a jelly bean counting game not sure on that one also a wives tale game so they can say what ones i match. then we will have my Nana cut the cake to reveal what it will be! we are doing a bee theme i want a banner that says what will it bee? im so excited the weekend cant get over fast enough!

day 2 of 30

A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

that would have to be my mom shes the greatest. i hope when my baby gets here that I'm at least as good of a mother as she is, she always listens with out judging and only wants the best for me. this picture was taken at the scandinavian festival in Oregon in 2010 (the date stamp is wrong on the picture)

whats was really wrong with me!

so i finally figured out what is wrong with me. i have round ligament syndrome. basically  the ligament that holds my uterus in is cramping and stretched and hit hurts so so so bad my regular doctor found this out in like 30 seconds i was so pissed! i went to the hospital and got unnecessarily poked and prodded. i was so angry. on a happy note I'm measuring right on heart beat is strong and we find out what we are having on Monday at 9:10 in the morning. catch is we're not telling anyone till Tuesday when we tell our parents. then we're not telling anyone else till Sunday bahahha! its gonna be so fun to keep it a secret and Sunday we are doing our gender reveal party for my side and friends we are dyeing the cake either pink or blue depending on what it is
i cant wait to find out what it is Monday cant come fast enough and its gonna be nice to have a whole day where only us two know. i love my new little family i don't know what i ever did with out them they mean everything to me this little thing growing in me is just so amazing and i cant wait to see what it looks like and hold him or her!

day one of 30

i decided to steal this from some of my friends it looks like fun. so here we go.

DAY 1 A picture of yourself with ten facts: 

1. I'm hard of hearing (purdy much deaf lol just a technicality)
2.  I've been married to my best friend for 6 months <3
3. I LOVE reading
4. I hate green beans and carrots BLECH!
5. I'm the eldest of five children
6. I'm having a baby in august YAY!
7. I know 300 words in sign language
8. I have the hots for men with red hair ( dont tell my hubby hehe)
9. I'm pigion toed
10.  I have a new love of blogging i do it when ever i can.

appendix trouble??

hi everyone, so no  good  news here. i went to work today and had really hard day because i didn't have a Dr. note to sit down at work so my body was in alot of pain especially my lower right side it was throbbing and was feeling horrible i was all red faced and could hardly stand but i made it to five o clock but didn't think i could walk home so i called my mom and she came and got me and we decided that it was better to be safe then sorry and we went to the after hours clinic at my Dr. office and the Dr there said that it could be appendicitis! bah scary right its really painful and i would have to have surgery to fix it while I'm pregnant that's what really freaks me out. me going under is fine but my baby going under the knife before its even born? that's a bit scary. I'm not a fan of surgery because we have something on my side of that family that's called malignant hypothermia its like regular hypothermia only caused by an allergic reaction to anesthesia and you can die from it! my dads brother died from it when he was two. also when i told the doctor the wernt letting me sit down at work she almost fell out of her chair! and said that that's not cool and quickly wrote me a note say that i have to sit down because of this pain and because I'm pregnant. when we got to the hospital and they did the ultra sound he wasn't aloud to show me my baby because he was checking other things. he checked for cysts on my right ovary and water on my right kidney it wasn't any of that but they couldnt find my appendix to check it but that's not abnormal in pregnant women if it gets worse then i have to go back and get a CAT or a MRI which will really really suck but on a happy exciting note the tech let us see the baby's feet so i know there's one in there for sure now lol. well i gotta go lay down maybe go to sleep if i can stupid pain. i cant get the med until tomorrow because walmarts pharmacy closes at like nine!

tangled up with family and having a blast!

okay so today after work i went over to my parents and they had rented tangled id never seen it and can i just say it cute! not sure i like the songs but hey the rest was way too cute. it was so fun to chill in my parents room and get all of us on the bed and watch a movie its been such a long time since we have got to do that it was the best to see my little brother gunner pay attention to the funny horse that and the fight scenes was so funny usually moves don't catch his eye but he really liked this one. i really cant wait for my baby to get here and get bigger so they can play together i know they are gonna be buds! even if its a girl ha-ha any who its a week until my next appointment and so its getting closer to finding out what it is. what team are you on team pink or team blue if you wouldn't mind would you comment on what you think it is? just for fun i promise i wont judge lol well night all

day off!

cleaning house. really not the way i would have liked to spend my day off but i really needed to do it dishes were 3 feet high ( exaggeration lol but they were pretty bad) plus laundry not fun but at least now i don't have to do them after work tomorrow ha! hopefully the rest of this week will get better and go fast so i can go to the Dr and find out what we are having I'm really getting anxious to know even though i pretty sure its a boy and I'm getting pretty happy about that ive come to terms with it and it makes me hope i am having a son i mean we wont have to sit and think of names since we already pretty much picked one and if its a girl we cant seem to find one we like or agree on not that we are talking about names seriously yet. i always felt i would need to rush and figure things out because it always seemed to me that 9 months would be long enough to get everything done. this baby has definitely made me calmer and more laid back things don't seem to phase me that would totally have me freaking out normally so that's good well its getting late so i better go watch MASH with the hubby then go to bed woo!

new clothes

so my wonderful SIL brought me over her maternty clothes to borrow today yay thay are all so cute im gonna be the best dresses prego i know lol probbly not but a girl can dream cant she lol. there is a pair of pants that i can tell are gonna be my very fave they are caro type pants and they are superduper comfy and there is a cute denim skirt that i cant wait to wear to church its gonna be so fun to wach my belly grow into some of these things. i cant wait to get bigger but at the same time i dont especialy on fat days when i feel i just look fat and not pregnant ive been having a lot of those lately idk why everyone trys to reassure me that i dont look fat but i find it hard to belive them. im trying to be positive about it and just tell myself no sarah there really is a baby in there and its not fat its baby im just struggling i wish i was perfect so that none of this would bother me but thats just not the case so i will live with it and try my best to pretend it dosnt bother me when people say that i look big not because they are rude but because it makes me feel like a whale even though logical i know i dont look that huge.... yet

just relax

woo for Sunday it was a much needed break form work i know i know my job isn't that bad and I'm luck to have it I'm still getting used to it so my body is really tired and i m trying to just wait out all this getting used to it stuff standing all day is really hard when your pregnant even when your not doing anything hard  but I'm pretty sure that its getting better at least I'm getting used to the pain its causing i pretty much just tell my self that this is not the most pain ive been in my life witch I'm sure is a lie but it works for a little while any way bah i feel like I'm complaining alot on here really things are okay! I'm done with pain is all but now maybe i can ask my Dr if there is anything he can give me or have me do to help i got my medical card in the mail the other day and I'm so happy it makes me feel so happy that we have insurance for the baby and me. also it couldn't have come at a better time since our first ultra sound is in like 2 weeks this is gonna be so cool we will get to see our little baby for the first time and I'm so excited to find out what we are having! i cant believe how fast its flying by when i first found out i felt like it was forever until August but its creeping up on me so much to do so little time to do it all in lol. so any way I'm just trying to be relaxed and not worry about things and today was a good day for that now as for tomorrow not so much : D

thank goodness for sundays

i cant wait for Sunday! i don't have to work woo! its not that my work is hard but I'm ready for a break my body is sore and i nearly passes out and work it was not good at all marking is really tuff on my body it makes my back hurt and that makes me light headed. but I'm so very thankful to have it now i posted belly bump pictures on face book but i ought to put them here too!

its getting closer! and I'm getting bigger i really cant wait to find out. And speaking of that I'm think of doing a gender reveal. this is how its done when you go to your ultra sound  you have the tech write down the gender with out telling you and seal it in an envelope then you take it to a bakery or have someone you trust bake a cake that has either pink or blue insides  then you gather everyone together and you cut the cake and that's how you find out what your having. i think is a really cute idea and more personal then being told by a complete stranger  with no one there to celebrate. its just an idea right now but i really like it i don't  if i can wait to know lol!

getting closer.

so today was a good day work went pretty fast and i work with really nice people and the work is not too hard. being on my feet for 4 hours straight is not so easy my back and legs hurts but it will get easier or so I'm told lol. I'm thinking that i need to drop my "medical friend" because she cant seem to be nice to me shes so judgemental and i think I'm done dealing with it i don't deserve it I've been nothing but a good friend to her listing to her and not saying anything mean or rude when shes been mean or just plain annoying I've given advice ive been genuinely care for her and the situations she been in and it seems like she doesn't care if I'm a good friend so I'm not caring anymore. on at lighter happier note only a few weeks left until we find out if is a boy or girl or twins lol !  i cant wait!!

first day

so today was my first day at work and it was great! it was hard and I'm in lots of pain now but it was worth it tomorrow will be better because i will only have to work 4 hours instead of 6. the baby did not really like it that i was on my feet all day it made me really sick by the end of the day and i almost threw up and my legs were shaking pretty bad but tomorrow will be better  now that i know what I'm getting into and i know what I'm suppose to do I'm gonna sleep well to night and really enjoy yoga tomorrow! well good night all
love ya

medical authority?! pfft!!

okay i have never posted twice in one day but I'm really angry and hurt. i have a friend who is going to school for medical stuff not nursing or anything but i feel like since i told her I'm pregnant she has felt like she has to be the the medical authority on everything she tells me things even when i don't want to know and she goes off on things my doctor should have done. apparently in his 30+ years of practice hes been doing all wrong. he delivered me and i got here fine. i tell her I'm not worried about it and that she should let me be the judge of my doctor that she has never met nor will she ever. it really makes me angry i love my doctor hes amazing and I've never had a problem with him. i will defend him to the death. just because my Dr doesn't do it the way she learned about or the way her doctor dose it doesn't mean that its wrong. i trust him completely. i really am upset by this and it stresses me out i want her to just let it go i don't even talk about my visits with her anymore because i cant take the flack. it makes me sick and me and the baby (babies) don't need that crap. I'm not even sure i want to be friends with this person any more she causes me more harm than i think a friend should but I'm not sure i want to not be either  it its hard for me to stop being friends with someone just because they hurt me. i know it sounds dumb, i forgive to easy sometimes and i let alot go. i tend to just let things happen over and over again even though they hurt and upset me i hate causing fights it makes me have panic attacks so i avoid it and that makes me keep people who normally would be cast aside i need to learn to get over it and stand up for myself  i find that hard to do with everyone i would rather they think they are right or make themselves feel smart or better then tell them they are wrong and to stop. i try not to worry about it but this time its not gonna go away she is unrelenting  I'm going to have to be mean at some point but i really don't want to i just want her to not talk about it. is that so much to ask to keep your nose in your own business really that's all I'm asking for! sorry for ranting i really need to get i out of my head its been bothering me for a while.