fearless about birth

so i kinda find it odd that im not scared to have my baby. like not at all isn't that strange? i know alot of ladies i talk to who are pregnant with me that just are super scared but i don't understand why. maybe im the weird one but i know that everything will be fine a hospital is a very controlled by the book place, my doctor is extremely competent and knows how to easy my fears even when something worrisome is happening. there is one thing i am afraid of concerning labour and that is the epidural strange right? those things can mess you up! if they place it wrong it could kill you or permanently damage you, not to mention if you have allergies to certain kinds of anastasia you could have a bad reaction. i really want to have as natural a birth as i can handle which for me means i'd rather not have the epidural. the hubby doesn't necessarily like this idea he thinks that i should get one so that i can just relax but i feel like i could do it if i i try i want to at least try. have a pretty good tolerance for pain and im pretty sure that i can have this baby with out a Cesarean so i don't see why it would be medically necessary for me to get an epidural unless i cant take the pain. women had children for thousands of year with little to no pain relief why couldn't i be strong enough to do the same at least for a little while.things are so freely handed to us these days i don't know i just want to work a little for my little girl. im not trying to say that if you get an epidural your cheating or are wussing out because who knows i may get to the hospital and practically scream for one lol hopefully not. im just saying that to me feeling the pain of child birth seems like the thing to do. i can hardly wait for august to get here some days it feels really close and others if feels like its years away. i want my little Gracie here already. that's my hardest thing waiting. in other news i went to the optometrist today and i asked him is it true that when you are pregnant your eyes change? he told me that its very rare actually and so getting your prescription renewed while pregnant is okay. ive had people tell me that i should wait to do it but i just couldn't i have started getting headaches. he said that my eyes have changed ( not caused by the baby but by the fact that it has been almost 4 years since i got my prescription) my near sightedness its a little worse but my astigmatism is gone which is good i don't remember him telling me i had one but it was 4 years ago lol. so i get new glasses! medicaid only pays for certain ones so my new frames even though they are cute they  are also  purple normally i hate purple but they are like lavender so its a little better. anyway this is along post so i better stop i know it takes a while to read when i write this much lol good night